People make mistakes, even those who are loyal. Sometimes they engage in bad behavior to force a change in a relationship.
Perhaps this kiss can serve a great purpose. You and your partner have been overwhelmed by a project, with no real time for connection. Maybe, without this conflict, you would have continued that lonely journey. Now there’s reason to talk about how you got here, and what you want the relationship to look like in the future.
If this nonprofit activity has overwhelmed you, you might want to change the timeline or seek extra help. Maybe it makes sense to build more vacation into your shared schedule.
It would be nice to know if that’s something he even wants. What does a happy relationship look like to him? When has he enjoyed what you have? Were you ever psyched about the relationship at the same time?
Try to consider what he’s offering and whether loyalty is really the only thing on the list. If he’s not romantic enough by your standards, he might not be a great long-term partner for you. Maybe the kiss helped you realize that fidelity was the one thing you counted on – and really, there should be so much more.
Talk to him about all of this. I know we say that to so many letter writers, but usually that’s what’s necessary. I hope we can guide you with a good group of questions – but then it’s on you to ask them. You might start with a simple one: “Do you want to be in this relationship?” Both of you can answer and share your reasons.
If the discussion leads you to the conclusion that the love is gone, you’ll be OK. As you discuss, though, remember that the kiss isn’t everything. It’s a catalyst. A pause. Of course it’s a betrayal, but it’s also a tool.
Let this uncomfortable moment lead you to a better plan for what’s next.
– Meredith
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November 29, 2023 at 08:50PM
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Loyalty was the one thing he had going for him - Boston.com
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