Search

The Relationship Coach: Problem creation - Longmont Times-Call

kajasada.blogspot.com
Rebecca Stark is a mastery certified life coach. She is the owner of Rebecca Stark Coaching. (Courtesy photo)

Did you know it’s your brain’s job to look for problems? Imagining the worst case scenario is an important function of your mind, the intent being to ensure your survival. Anytime you are entering an unknown, it’s perfectly normal for you to feel anxious thinking about all the potential things that could possibly go horribly wrong. (Have you ever noticed how your brain spends little to no time imagining the best case scenario?)

Predicting worst case scenarios isn’t the problem. The problems arise when we respond to those thoughts with fear as if they are the truth, and get trapped in stress and anxiety. That can create unnecessary suffering, damaging our health and quality of life. It can even render us victims, afraid to do anything that doesn’t have a certain known outcome.

Your brain is highly creative. When you’re anxious about the future, your brain is simply using all of that creative energy to create problems (that don’t even exist). Have you also noticed that your anxiety goes away when you’re using your creativity to solve problems?

It’s almost as if by tasking your brain to come up with solutions, you’re forcing it to use that creative energy in a positive way (creating solutions), rather than in an anxiety producing way (creating more problems).

Your brain is like an unsupervised toddler, running around the kitchen with a knife, pretending to be a pirate. Left untended, bad things are going to happen. Your job is to wrangle the toddler and give it more constructive things to do, preferably imaginary games that don’t involve deadly weapons.

You aren’t a worry-wart, a basket case, or a victim. You have a healthy human brain that is simply trying to do its job to protect you and the people you love. You just happen to have a highly intelligent and creative brain that’s very skilled at coming up with all kinds of “what if” scenarios.

So let’s put that amazing creative energy to better use, shall we? When you notice yourself stuck in anxiety, first take a deep breath. Inhale, then release a longer exhale. Do this a few times, bringing your awareness to your present space. Note where you are, what color are the walls? Where is the nearest exit? Are there other people around? This is to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and remind your brain that you are currently safe. This will allow you to feel more in control of your thoughts.

Now that you’ve soothed your nervous system and you can think more clearly, you can do one of two things. Either task your brain to also come up with all of the possible best case scenarios (equally as imagined as worst case scenarios, but equally as viable), or task your brain to come up with solutions for what you will do if your imagined horrible outcomes occur.

I do this in movie theaters. I’m triggered when I remember that there is the (slightest) possibility someone could enter waving a gun. I find the exits, I imagine myself ducking or potentially tackling the shooter. I see myself throwing my body in front of a child to protect them. I know this sounds morbid, but it actually does help me calm down to solve for what I would do, it makes me feel more in control, which lessens the anxiety. I have a plan. My nervous system loves plans.

I remind my clients often, you are the thinker of your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Your brain works for you, not the other way around. Learning how to calm your nervous system and manage your thoughts in order to channel that magnificent organ between your ears can help you feel less affected by your anxiety and more in control of your behavior. Your brain is always in creation mode, but you get to decide what it creates.

Rebecca Stark Thornberry is a mastery certified life coach and the owner of Rebecca Stark Coaching, rebeccastarkcoaching.com. If you have questions you would like answered in this article, or would like to inquire about coaching please submit to rebecca@rebeccastarkcoaching.com.

Adblock test (Why?)



"creation" - Google News
December 25, 2021 at 08:42PM
https://ift.tt/3H8EHp1

The Relationship Coach: Problem creation - Longmont Times-Call
"creation" - Google News
https://ift.tt/39MUE4f
https://ift.tt/3bZVhYX

Bagikan Berita Ini

0 Response to "The Relationship Coach: Problem creation - Longmont Times-Call"

Post a Comment

Powered by Blogger.