Kapil Sibal, Shashi Tharoor et al are considered masters of Angrezi. They are masters of many other skill sets, too, but primarily, they have both built their formidable reputations on their inventive and original language skills. Calling them mere wordsmiths would be giving hardcore wordsmiths a terrible name.
Which is why it surprised the outside world when the outrageously valiant efforts of 23 loyalists (who temporarily forgot their ‘auqaat’), conveyed through a missive, which went viral after being mysteriously leaked to the media. Such himmat! After all, who dares question the mighty Queen Mother herself ? Tauba. Quelle horreur. I am surprised they still have their heads! We know what happens to the naughty ones who are bewaqoof enough to challenge the status quo. Think P V Narasimha Rao — the poor brilliant soul who’d made the monumental mistake of not prostrating at Madam’s feet. Such disrespect! Very few survive the wrath of the lady scorned. Watch out, you 23 dissenters!
If only these impassioned chaps had taken a different route to Sonia’s mind (I am leaving out the more arduous route to her missing organ — the heart), their shabby state today could have been avoided. Forget how and who leaked the letter. The more important question is: why the hell was it written in the first place? Did they not know their boss? Has Madam G ever tolerated dissent? Ever? What motivated them to waste their time studiously penning that missive and creating such a drama? One tight ‘thappad’ from the bosslady and they are back, licking their wounds and looking silly. Not only did the letter expose their own vanities, but the sharp and prompt response from the high command conclusively established who rules — her! Them! Those three — the triumvirate. Khatam. Take it or take a walk.
It is surprising that the universal charmer, Shashi Tharoor, chose to pen a reproachful letter when a prem patra would have done the trick. Pressing the right buttons generally works with egotistical people. So does flattery. Had ‘that’ letter been gushy and effusive and fuzzy, things may have panned out differently. For example, had these brilliant fellows said, “Your royal highness, we, your ever loyal subjects who adore and worship at your feet, humbly beseech you to sack your useless son and reclaim your throne…” The outcome would have been less humiliating for them.
As of now, the desired ouster of Rahul Gandhi as the next party president remains just that — a collective desire. The word ‘introspection’ has been officially banned, say sources. Mrs G holds all the cards, while Priyanka G, who is actually a Priyanka V, stands by to absorb and deflect the blows aimed at her brother, Rubberball Rahul G.
Meanwhile, the reckless ‘Gang of 23’ letter writers await punishment — for, it will come with biblical fury and very soon. They are ready to do penance. And they no longer use potentially inflammable words like ‘reform’. Nor does any one of them (former chief ministers, central ministers) make even an oblique reference to ‘electoral failure’. These are all bad words that have been banned via a royal edict. If anything, the mood within the dysfunctional Congress party is exactly as Madam G wants it — by the time the next AICC session comes up, there will be a lusty chorus for Rahul to get back and do his Rahul thing as party president. As of now, Mummyji is holding the fort as interim president, post the resignation natak.
This suits the BJP splendidly. No wonder we have been treated to an elaborately staged fashion shoot of Prime Minister Narendra Modi, in new and wonderfully colour-coordinated costumes, as he hand-feeds a peacock and bonds with geese. Never has our tireless PM looked this relaxed and totally chilled out. As if India’s Covid crisis and the employment emergency, or the JEE-NEET examinations controversy, have nothing to do with him or his cabinet colleagues.
Can anybody really visualise the Congress party (one of the oldest political parties in the world), without a Gandhi heading it? No, na? Then why quibble? Imagine if one of those accused of insubordination were to impudently stake a claim to the job reserved in perpetuity for the Nehru-Gandhi clan. Imagine the confusion of voters if they had to cast the ballot for a party led by Kapil Sibal or Shashi Tharoor or Ghulam Nabi Azad! You gotta be kidding! Congress ka matlab Gandhi parivar. Nobody else exists or will be allowed to exist. Once the G-gang goes, the headquarters may as well shut shop. Forget fighting the next election. Forget a viable opposition to the BJP in 2024. Relax, folks. It’s going to be a piece of barfi for the BJP. It’s time to feed the peacocks and fatten the geese.
DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.
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Lesson for Cong dissenters: Nothing but loyalty to Gandhis in letter and spirit - Economic Times
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